Now, I’m guessing (but prepared to be surprised) that this approach would probably have you stepping backwards and looking around desperately for help. I have to confess that it’s an approach that’s had limited success for me in the past. (Although there was this conference in Mainz….)

I digress; let’s take two. You walk off stage and there I am, but this time you hear the words, “I enjoyed your presentation and thought you raised some really interesting points. I’d welcome the opportunity to discuss it further, and wondered if I could buy you a coffee?”

I can reveal that approach has never failed to start some kind of relationship, and it’s what conference and event marketing should be about. We’re not selling double-glazing (a purchase every 20 years, so let’s go in hard) so we should be thinking about a long-term relationship, rather than a one night stand. Yet every day I see (and am often subjected to) that kind of “wham bam” marketing that rarely succeeds. Glossy brochures landing on the desk usually go straight into the recycling; whereas e-mails that contain genuine news or research will get a more than cursory glance. Invitations to download White Papers or share survey results are all grist to my mill.

So, the moral of the story is that you need to be thinking of how to engage in the AIDA model of communication; Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. And that’s unlikely to be simply one message, or piece of marketing collateral. It’s about playing the long game, wooing and waiting. Or, in chat-up vernacular, astriking opening line, cup of coffee, flowers, and time for foreplay.

The so-called “funnel”, so popular in presentations, works the same way; many organisations will tempt you by offering a free report before gently reeling you in with a low-cost item and then building up to something with a huge price. But once you’ve created that essential trust, you can get away with (almost) anything.

As for the sudden, unexpected sexual encounter, offered brazenly upfront, they remain few and far between. Even Mrs John will only admit to one surprising session over the washing machine. And that’s meant we could never, ever return to Comet.

Suddenly there’s a thump against the side of the boat, and First Mate Jasim is leaning over the side with a wooden club. I’m glad not to see the coup de grace; I’m an omnivore, but one who prefers to remain in ignorance of the gory details. But the next minute there’s a shiny yellowfin tuna staring sightlessly back at me, and it’s time for a celebratory 7-Up. There are around a dozen pods of dolphins surrounding the boat, maybe 100 creatures all watching my success.

Captain Nabeel explains – as I catch my breath – how they use mackerel as bait to persuade the dolphins to start chattering, which in turn brings along the prized tuna. Of course, Flipper is too smart to fall for the trick, and he and his mates are leaping in the air, showing off for the visitors; but it seems that today the tuna are throwing themselves on the line. Another shout, another struggle, more wrestling, and out comes the club. This one is even bigger, 35 kilos of shiny scales, and for a few seconds the deck looks like a scene from a Tarentino movie.

We’re only a mile from the centre of Muscat city, but with 1000 km of coast, and a reputation for environmental concern, Oman offers some of the best water-based activities, and I’m getting a taster with Sidab Sailing. Of course, many people opt for the passive sightseeing cruises, but this is a taste of action.

And if you don’t know Oman, you really are missing a trick. Firstly, the size is astounding; while Dubai is only twice the size of London, Oman is comparable in landmass to Germany. Of course there are the usual desert options – think wadi bashing, as per the Middle East, but there’s another angle. Two hours from Muscat is the Jebel Ahzar, a mountain range that requires four wheel drive. Across a lunar landscape but with fossils under every footstep, it’s possible to sit on the edge of a valley that mimics the Grand Canyon, and enjoy astounding views and a total silence that is almost mystical. With no light pollution, camping trips are also popular. Temperatures here are 10-15 degrees lower, so it’s popular with the locals, and yet it’s so easy to find a spot of splendid peace and isolation

The Sultanate is gearing up for international events. A smart new pier opened at the airport in 2010, and a huge expansion programme is underway; the plan is to cater for 12 million visitors by 2014. Regional airports are also being developed, and from 2012 an ambitious railway project will start. The national airline has transformed in just a couple of years from a second-tier service to delivering a standard that matches the rest of the Middle Eastern carriers.

There is no shortage of remarkable venues. Take the Royal Opera House, which officially opened on 12 October 2011 with a production of Turandot, led by Plácido Domingo. With a capacity of 1,100 people it’s the first in the world equipped with Marconi’s multimedia interactive display seatback system. The opera house complex consists of a concert theatre, auditorium, formal landscaped gardens, cultural market with retail, luxury restaurants and an art centre for musical, theatrical and operatic productions.

The exhibition centre near the airport is getting dated, but construction started on a stunning new complex in 2011. New exhibition halls will open in 2014, with the conference facilities opening a year later. The centerpiece will be a 3000 seat auditorium and a ballroom which will take 2300 theatre style. The Centre is being developed by Omran, the company established by the Government to deliver major tourism projects and AEG Ogden has been appointed to operate the new Centre.

Expect new luxury hotels, but Muscat is already doing quite well in that area. Close to the city centre is the beautiful Chedi, while for larger groups there’s the Al Bustan, about 15 miles outside the city, with its own cove. All the other top end luxury brands are also represented, offering a hedonistic mix of spas and treatments.

Meanwhile, the guys from Sidab have caught another tuna, and this one really is huge. We see it slapping the water as the rod bends; 100kg of fish at the end of the line. But as we try and drag it in it breaks free, and the reel flaps in empty. As if on cue a dozen dolphins break through the waves, seemingly laughing at us, before turning as one and heading out to sea. The splash from their fins is like a million tears.

www.omantourism.gov.om

Food is important; the best restaurants are members of the Club de Tast. Don’t leave without trying xato, the local dish. Although there are variatons, the main ingredients are escarole salad, cod, tuna, anchovies, aubergine and black olives. However, the essence of the dish is its sauce, made with scalded chillies, toasted almonds, garlic, olive oil, salt, vinegar and hot peppers. (And Sitges is the perfect location to walk all that good food off).

For more information, go to www.sitges.cat

But it seemed time to get a new photo; and that got me thinking about the importance of pictures of speakers. I mean, do we decide to attend an event or read an article based on the apparent degree of intelligence or pulchritude oozing from the picture? Probably not, although it’s interesting to see publishers emphasising the fruitiness of an author like Zadie Smith compared with, say, Jeffrey Archer. And the apparent £400 k advance for the younger Middleton’s forthcoming book on “party planning” had absolutely nothing to do with the gravity-defying nature of her buttocks.

So with that thought in mind, I wondered if a new photo would make any difference to my life and bank balance and took myself off to the Kent studio of Grahame Green of Shot Photography, for a morning of huge fun. I thought he was a brave man; after all, mine is a face for radio; but in a relaxing environment Graham had me juggling, posing, preening, and generally making a right prat of myself.

Okay, I’m going to let you be the judge of the results (and remember that, in me, poor Grahame didn’t have that much to work with!). Personally I think they’re fantastic, and those who know me can’t believe there isn’t a lot of airbrushing involved.

As I write this, I’m looking at the promotional leaflet of a banking conference that has landed on my desk. The colour photos of the speakers are uniformly dull and come from an identikit of stereotypes; yes, there’s Herr Claus von Comatose glowering from behind thick glasses; and Frau Beate Leiderhosen grimacing under a bun of hair woven so tightly as to remove any lines from her face. Do we have any expectation that some of these people will throw in a few ad libs and some quirky PowerPoint? Not much.

Of course, such details may be irrelevant, but in this age of uniformity and austerity wouldn’t a few snaps of people actually looking as though they enjoy life make a difference? And can’t we chuckle at a few poseur shots of the good, bad, or simply self-deluded?

The choice is yours. And if I haven’t done Grahame any favours, that’s the result of my ugly face, not his immense talent. But he’s at www.shotp.com, and my lovely face is still on the front page. Watch the birdie.

The sector even has its own body, the Association for Events Management Education, created by Glenn Bowdin, Subject Group Leader, at Leeds Metropolitan University. AEME’s objective is to “support and raise the profile of the events management discipline through the sharing of education and best practice.” Founder members include universities, colleges and institutes across the UK.

The creation of such degrees was not without controversy; the first universities were, in effect, simply adding on the occasional event management module to marketing, tourism or hospitality programmes. After a decade, however, the approach is very different, and courses undergo frequent revision and development. “As a direct result of our consultation with industry experts, our BA (Hons) Events Management programme includes a module focusing on entrepreneurship and business development,” explained Julian Robinson, Programme Leader at the University of Derby. “This develops students’ creative thinking skills and commercial awareness, attributes necessary to be successful in business as well as the competitive job market.”

However, universities are not immune to the pressures of the commercial world, and some are looking carefully at where future demand may come from. “When senior management reviewed its portfolio of courses a couple of years ago, the consensus was that a range of courses including most of the marcomms and events subjects did not fit the new design-based vision for the college, which led to their being closed,” Polly Larner, Course Director at London College of Communication UAL told CN. “But with the Olympics in London, and changing trends around the world, a new range of events courses are being considered for CPD and as pathways to other UG and PG degrees which will keep this subject live at LCC and aid the ongoing professionalisation of this discipline.’

Many of the universities have developed strong links with industry. John Brackstone, Bournemouth University spoke at the Event Production Show about their relationship with Millbrook Events. Students are invited for placements with the Bedfordshire Centre and go through a comprehensive assessment process to secure one of the coveted internships, which delivers both real salary and responsibility. Head of Events Kevin Leaver, is adamant that this approach works, and points to two of his event managers having been through the process. “The blend of academic knowledge and commercial experience is priceless.”

But for anyone over 30, what opportunity is there for professional development and recognition within the events sector? There are a variety of courses available, but no real structure of progression. Can universities provide the answer? “Yes”, says Conor Moss, Head of Learning at University of Derby Corporate, who recently launched the Centre for Events Professional Development (CEPD). Derby’s track record is impressive; they created the Diploma in Event Safety Management, delivered with Capita Symonds, as well as qualifications in temporary structures with The Star Group, and the new “Event Control” qualification with MRL. CEPD is already delivering management programmes to clients such as Showsec and Southwater Event Group.

It’s also about being nimble in responding to commercial demands. David Preston, Director of the Event Network and a part-time lecturer on a number of events programmes spoke at the “Hybrid events” conference that sat alongside this year’s Confex. Seeing 80 paying delegates in the audience convinced him of the need to create a professional qualification; “currently, most event managers are learning about virtual and hybrid technology from the suppliers, which is simply not a healthy solution. You can expect to see some accredited qualifications in this area coming along some time very soon.”

Accredited learning has changed; much of it takes place on-line, and is delivered in modules that allow you to build up large qualifications through an accumulation of smaller ones. There’s also a process called APL – the Accreditation of Prior Learning – that allows students exemption from studying if they can prove they already have the necessary qualifications and experience. Couple that with “Work-Based Learning”; using what you do in a day to day role, reflecting and learning on it, and building a portfolio that meets the rigours of academia whilst delivering genuine corporate benefits.

But for anyone over 30, what opportunity is there for professional development and recognition within the events sector? There are a variety of courses available, but no real structure of progression. Some trade associations – MPI and IAPCO are the best examples – have embraced the idea of systematic development and recognition of both learning and experience, but for the main part the lack of industry cooperation from the dozens of trade associations means there is no obvious route to a structured CPD model.

However, there’s a new opportunity to fill the gap. Launched at The Event Production Show this year is the new Centre for Events Professional Development (CEPD) created by the Corporate arm of the University of Derby. Now, let me declare my interests; guess who has been appointed Development Consultant for the new body? Yep, answers on a postcard. But don’t let that put you off. Derby’s track record is impressive; they created the Diploma in Event Safety Management, delivered with Capita Symonds, and developed a host of other qualifications for the sector, with others in the pipeline.

And if you’re one of those people who either graduated before the onset of these degrees, or just never went to university, then pay attention. Accredited learning has changed; much of it takes place on-line, and is delivered in modules that allow you to build up large qualifications through an accumulation of smaller ones. And while I don’t want to bore you with jargon, there’s also a process called APL – the Accreditation of Prior Learning – which allows you exemption from studying if you can prove that you already have the necessary qualifications and experience.

Oh, and the latest trend is for what’s called “Work-Based Learning”; using what you do in a day to day role, reflecting and learning on it, and building a portfolio that meets the rigours of academia whilst delivering genuine corporate benefits.

But don’t get the idea that this is an “easy” option; books still have to be read and assignments completed, It’s just the learning and assessment processes have been made more customer-centric.

The CEPD is launching with a host of programmes in safety management, control room operations, acoustics and AV technology, as well as management, business and marketing. But perhaps of most relevance is that many of the courses that are appearing are designed in conjunction with other associations and providers, to ensure the all-important “real world” aspects of the topic are delivered.

So, if you really do want to be considered as an “event professional”, check out the website (www.derby.ac.uk/cepd) and sign up for regular updates. Oh, and don’t forget the old adage, “if you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”

His credentials are impressive. He started as a theatre techie, rose to become an event producer, then retrained at the Royal College of Art in television production, worked as a video and TV producer for a decade and then studied at the London Business School, which led to the development of his creative coaching company. It equates to a staggering 30 years coaching presenters from over 60 of the Fortune 100 companies. He has worked in more than 30 countries, and has coached everywhere from an Indonesian deserted Island to Buckingham Palace.

The “Introverted Presenter” is also the title of his forthcoming book, and he explained why he felt the world needed another book on presenting.

“Here’s the scenario. An accomplished presenter – let’s call him Roy – gives a great presentation at the company’s annual conference. Mary, a salesperson in the audience, admires his stage presence and wants to emulate him. She searches online and – guess what! – Roy has written a “how to” book sharing his personal secrets and tips for presenting. So Mary buys it. Late into the night she studies Roy’s secrets, and put all he says into practice, and guess what? It does not work.

The reason is very simple: Roy is an extrovert. From an early age Roy has been the star of the show, he’s always the one who volunteers to be in the nativity play, speech day, University debating society, and company meeting. That’s why he’s a presenter and speaker – he was born to do it. No matter how often Mary reads the book she’s missing a vital part. Mary is an introvert and yet will still dread getting up to speak no matter how many books written by extroverts like Roy she reads.”

Richard’s view is that most professional presenters are great on stage because they are extroverts. They love the spotlight. However, here’s a surprise; the majority of clients, presenters and meeting planners, are introverts. So the presentation coaching and message planning services out there are aimed at the wrong personality type.

Now, here’s a spoonful of cod-psychology; the terms “introversion” and “extroversion” were first popularized by Carl Jung, and many of the popular “personality profiling” questionnaires make use of the concept, including those by Eysenck’s, the Cattell’s 16 personality factors, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory or the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Jung and the gang suggest that everyone has both an extroverted and an introverted side, with one being more dominant than the other. Typically, extroverts are seen to be gregarious, assertive, and interested in seeking out external stimulus. Introverts, in contrast, are seen as introspective, quiet and less sociable. And of course, these are behaviours that are highly visible on stage.

Richard also points out that introversion/extroversion is measured in terms of a scale or spectrum, and around seven out of ten people fall in the middle ranges, known as “ambiversion.” That means only around 15% of the population at either end can be considered genuinely “introverted” or “extroverted”.  He’s also keen to point out that “we introverts are known to have slightly higher IQs than you lot.” Still, other researchers have pointed out that more extroverted people tend to report higher levels of happiness than introverts. Jung stated that introverts acknowledge more readily their psychological needs and problems, whereas extroverts tend to be oblivious to them because they focus more on the outer world. However, extroversion is socially preferable in Western culture and can make introverts feel more self-conscious. Other studies have found that extroverts tend to report higher levels of self-esteem than introverts.

So far, so good; it’s obvious an extroverted trainer may struggle to change the performance of an introverted delegate. Richard’s success stems from the fact that he is a classical introvert, and his starting point is to use some of the popular questionnaires to identify the degree of introversion within his clients. As he explains “it’s about leading the reader through the terror to a place of comfort and acceptance. Mary will never be a stand-up comedienne, but she can come to present carefully prepared material her audience will connect with, and she can enjoy doing it.”

For some reason Mr Tierney believes that your beloved columnist is an extrovert, just because it takes a stick with a hook at the end to get me off the stage. But he points out that the majority of people find such a situation totally alien. He explained, “this started out as a presentation coaching service, and with some clients that’s where it stops. But with others I go into deeper questions about their business and the messages they wish to get across. Introverts don’t think about this, they just want to keep their heads down and get on with their lives. And because I’m an introvert I can relate to that.”

The results do speak for themselves, and after three decades in the events industry Richard describes his new role as “the most rewarding work I have ever done. It can be transformational. Using all my experience in the events business yet not being a vendor is a great liberation for me. Seeing my client’s actually enjoying standing up and speaking, with their audience having clarity, is a great joy. But you extroverts probably don’t understand what all the fuss is about.”

www.IntrovertedPresenter.com

Make sure you get to Gerald Durrell’s zoo, now celebrating 50 years of fighting to support and protect endangered species. Groups can go behind the scenes and enjoy some hands-on animal handling for a trip with a difference.

www.jerseyconference.co.uk

You see, I’m a generous chap at heart, although I don’t like to squander money. I prefer to give my money to charity – which I do, a lot – rather than entrust it to the government who will squander it on schemed designed solely to appeal to the masses and assist with re-election.

But this isn’t a political or ranty comment this month, just a bit of advice to readers who organise events outside the UK (and that can include subscribers who spend much of their time at our industry conferences and exhibitions which dot the globe). Simple question; did you know you’re probably wasting money?

I make that assertion after spending just ten delightful minutes in the company of Siobhan Kelly of Dublin-based Taxback. Now normally a conversation around VAT duality and reciprocal tax arrangements would have me sliding gently into a coma, but Siobhan’s lovely Emerald Isle lilt – and the offer of free money – kept me awake.

Essentially, the wise people running the EU (stop sniggering at the back) are very happy for you to recover (usually) the VAT that you are charged on your expenses. This can be as high as 25%; yes, some governments are even greedier than Mr Cameron’s.  However, often these refunds are left unclaimed, usually due to a lack of awareness, or because of the time and costs involved. After all, VAT (or the equivalent) varies not only between country but also on different products and services. So, for example, Italy’s IVA may only be 10% on hotels but rises to 21% for taxis.

We’re not talking small beer here; all that spending on croissants and bratwurste mounts up; one estimate is a staggering €5 billion which goes unclaimed.

Recoverable expenses fall into several categories, including “subsistence”, “advertising” and “entertaining”, which means that – in theory at least – writing your e-mail on a 20 euro note and slipping it into the g string of a Latvian lapdancer is a legitimate business expense. But the top category for reclaim is “trade fair and conference participation costs.”

Now, depending on the size of your organisation the sums involved may not be massive, but it is money you’re entitled to. And, as the process for SME’s is as simple as filling out a form, you can make an enquiry for free and you only pay based on results, frankly you’d be a muppet not to give it a go.

So, if some free money is something that has appeal, go to www.taxback.com and get in touch with Siobhan. Tell her I sent you. That way, you get a nice warm glow from the money you save, and I get a nice warm glow from the bottle of Irish malt that she sends me. Happy new year.

Now, I was convinced that, despite the advancing years I was in reasonably good shape, thanks to a reasonably healthy diet and regular sessions on the rowing machine. Sadly this self-delusion came to a crashing end when I met Cain Leatham at the recent European Cities Marketing conference In Krakow. He’s been a fixture for 5 years, sponsored by IMEX Exhibitions. Cain’s job is to ensure the delegates – the majority in their mid twenties, and therefore prone to enjoying the evening activities – are both physically and mentally alert and can actually enjoy what is a pretty packed 3 days.

His background is impressive. Joining the RAF as a slim 10 stone he rebuilt himself into an 18 stone ironman. But with a background that includes a Masters in nutrition and an NLP qualification, his conference presentations are genuinely different. Throughout ECM Cain was on hand to provide advice, guidance, motivation and the odd stern word to encourage a new generation of event marketers to deal with some of the excesses the world of meetings can provide.

After meeting Cain in Poland, I was impressed enough after to meet up and find out more. Unfortunately, what I hoped we would be a chat over a beer and pizza turned out to be another enthusiastic workout. Having convinced myself I was in reasonable shape for a demi-centenarian, being stripped off next to Cain made me feel like a crushed beanbag. Yet it wasn’t all bleak; aside from the gym session, Cain also provides guidance on nutrition, and uses the latest technology to check out his victims – sorry, clients. A £1500 black box connected to my ankle revealed I was the perfect weight, made up of the right materials, with the potential to keep on trucking for a few more years.

Cain’s participation at conferences extends beyond the traditional keynote, although as a member of the PSA he works the stage well. Off stage he works with the delegates to take the audience through a workout designed to leave them energised but not sweaty. At ECM he also worked with the hotel to ensure lunch was nutritious and healthy – and no, we didn’t all share a bean sprout and fava bean salad; it was excellent, filling fare.

And the payback can be dramatic. The attention span of ECM delegates is far greater after Cain had been involved. And fun but intense sessions just before the traditional graveyard shift worked wonders for attention and participation.

Oh, and you probably want to know about my incredible physique. Well, Cain was actually quite polite about me, reckoning I could pass (albeit only in some departments) for a man 10 years younger. But I’ve taken many of his hints to heart, and the results have been great. Aside from more energy – necessary with the number of hats I wear – I’ve added a couple of pounds – but it’s all muscle. I promise you, my faithful reader, that there’ll be no gratuitous nudity in these columns, but by next year when I’m on the beach I don’t have to worry that all those women staring my way are actually mentally dressing me.

Cain Leatham: www.gbfitness.co.uk